This is Ask Marjie’s Christmas Edition – letters uniquely aimed at creating a Very Happy Holidays to all.

Dear Marjie,

I want to buy my wife something but I don’t want to get in trouble like I did last Christmas.  Last year I gave my wife a Visa gift card for $250 to get what she needs.  My wife was pissed although I still don’t really understand why.  So now I don’t know what to get her – any suggestions on what to do?  Baffled Husband

Dear Baffled Husband,

I say get her something she really needs – a new husband.  If you can live with this woman all year long and still have no idea of what she likes or wants, you are just way too inattentive.   Apparently, you take no joy in giving a thoughtful gift to a woman you share your life with, and if you do not care to see her happiness on Christmas morning, than you just DON’T GET IT.

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Dear Marjie,

My 6 year old still believes in Santa Claus and I think it’s time that she knows the truth.  I don’t want her to find out in the schoolyard, or by her older cousins, so I thought I should sit her down and tell her like it is.  Any suggestions on how to do this? Confused Mom

Dear Confused Mom,

I understand the importance of having an open dialogue with your child, and being the one to tell them the truth is good intentioned.  I would urge you to read this before talking to your child as it is the epitome of explaining this particular myth.  Read, “Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus”  http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/  In the letter written in 1887, the reasons to maintain the myth, and to allow the childhood innocence is exemplified.  If you are going to explain away  Santa, do it softly and with love.  Good luck.

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Dear Marjie,

Every year I have to spend time with my in-law’s adjusting my idea of Christmas to their ideas of what the holiday means.  As I am not really liked by these people, and I really do not respect their way of celebrating, feeling that their values are really messed up, how do I get out of this.  I cannot use my family as an escape as they live too far away, and my husband keeps claiming that holidays are meant to be spent with family, but really!!!!  It’s been 10 years of the in-laws and I’m fed up.  I’m also fed up with exposing my children to the petty nastiness and strain of these people year after year.  How do I get out of this?  Fed up in Brooklyn

Dear Fed Up,

Wow I so feel your pain.  At some point in our lives we have to develop traditions of our own.  If your in-laws not only dislike you, but in being with them you are devaluing your own beliefs and ideas, I feel the time has come to reboot your holiday.  Sit your husband down and explain that YES holidays should be spent with family, but you, he and your children constitute a family and as one, have the ability to create a wonderous time filled with love honoring each other and your beliefs, rather than the forced, stressed and unhappy time you have been having over the past decade.  If he cannot understand that, then have him spend a few hours, without you, visiting his family and then coming home to see what a truly loving family holiday should be.  Good luck.

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Dear Marjie,

The economy tanked out, and now my ability to spoil my children is no longer there.  I know they have high expectations for gifts, and I know it’s because I’ve always given them too much, so this year, what am I going to do?  How do I create a Christmas morning that will bring them happiness on a budget?  Downsized Dad

Dear Dad,

I think if rather than worrying about the gifts you can and cannot give, you should be more concerned with what the holiday was meant to provide, the opportunity to spend time giving thanks, loving your family and sharing the holiday with joy.  Joy cannot be bought.  For a child the greatest joy that you can give lies within you.  The time you spend with your children means more than any monetary item you can provide.  Go outside the box this year and bake cookies with them, watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” or take the family out to give back to those who rather than living on a budget, live on next to nothing.  We all have to make adjustments to the economic situation this country finds itself in, but the adjustments do not have to hurt us as much as they would if we did not have something more important, more powerful and more joyous than anything you can buy, and that’s LOVE.  If you can sit them down, and talk to them from your heart, that open and caring connection would surely assuage their disappointment.  Wishing you and your family Peace, Joy and Love for a beautiful holiday.

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Dear Marjie,

Every year at the company Christmas Party my co-worker drinks way too much and winds up making a fool of herself and burdening me with taking care of her.  I’m really tired of it.  I would like very much to just go the party and enjoy myself, but if I don’t take care of her she gets out of control.  I don’t want her to lose her job, but I don’t want to keep babysitting her either.  What should I do?  Designated Co-Worker

Dear Designated,

I think you need to sit this person down and explain to them, delicately, that during the past Holiday Parties she may have had more alcohol than she should have given that she is surrounded by co-workers.  Let her know that if she were to slow her roll, she might have a nicer time, and besides, nobody wants to be known as the office drinker.  This is where your responsibility ends.  If you co-worker decides, after having been made aware of the problem, to drink in excess – than let the chips fall as they may.  At some point in time you will not be there to help her, and as long as you enable her by covering her ass, you are part of the problem rather than the solution.  So go to the party and enjoy – you worked all year long with all of these people so enjoy a day of socializing.  Party on!

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Dear Marjie,

I hate Christmas, Christmas music, everything about it.  I want people to leave me alone with this crap already.  How do I say, leave me alone I don’t want to play reindeer games.  The Grinch

Dear Grinch,

I don’t know what to say but just be yourself – I have to think that if you just keep doing you, people leaving you alone will be the natural progression.  With that being said, I would like to start the ball rolling and leave you alone myself.